just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize