Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
