I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize