You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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