We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
