there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
is that a dick in a sweater?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize