u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
