I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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