going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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