i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
