You can't special order awesome
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
