is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
