Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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