i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
