I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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