I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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