Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
