What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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