i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
