whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
