Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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