Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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