the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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