and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
