I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm really busy with my period
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