we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
