You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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