I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize