Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
