You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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