I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
