Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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