i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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