seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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