yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
