i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
