so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
