We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
