sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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