oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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