sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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