I have demons in me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
operation have a gay friend backfired
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
