It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
