Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
