Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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