So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
