Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
