scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
