he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
