Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
