remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
