i wish my penis had a tongue
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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