As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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