dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
