don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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