I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
