Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
