belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
