Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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