I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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