I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I've blown a few things in my day
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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