If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
