I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize