I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
