Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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