Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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